Today, let’s continue to discuss this concept of loving one’s self. Eating authentically is a way of loving one’s self as we discussed in part 1. But what are some other ways?
Paul Chek, one of my mentors, often says, “Loving one’s self is learning to say NO.” This is profound for many people!
When I meet with a client who is stressed and sick I often find that they have a serious problem saying NO in their life! They won’t say no to work, or friends, or foods that are toxic, or whatever else their vice happens to be. This makes for a person who is waiting for their body to get sick before they will be forced to say NO!
Now, when we say NO, others often get upset and try to force a guilt trip on us (and that’s not a fun trip to take). Their ego is so invested in us saying yes, that they are hurt when a wise person says NO. It takes a strong and brave person to live authentically and learn to meet their own needs rather than complying with others’ demands for their time or resources.
I would add in something here about selfishness, because the first thing that pops into my head when learning to say no is that it seems selfish. I would address that here before moving on with how to say no, because someone who has a hard time with no (like me) will usually think no means you’re being selfish.
When we can get in touch with our True Self (authentic self) we begin to realize what our needs truly are, rather than blindly stabbing at them in the dark! This is important, because if you don’t know what you truly need, how will you know if you’ve received it? How will you go about seeking to meet this need when it is unidentified?
Identifying our needs is essential. Expressing those needs though communication comes next. Then Acting on these needs is the final step in Loving One’s Self. The cycle goes Thoughts, Words, Deeds.
Thoughts = Identifying our needs
Words = Communication of our needs
Deeds = Action to meet those needs
Only YOU can be responsible for meeting those needs…they may be through your action of asking others for help that the need is met, but you have to ask!